Kamis, Maret 21, 2013

Stay at home mom is boring?

'You probably bored staying at home all the times"

I have probably heard that kind of comments more than once, when I told someone that I am a stay at home mom. Usually I just smile, or grin to be exact.

Honestly, it's not boring to be a stay at home mom. I like being at home. I know, I told you that my first years as a stay at home mom was a real struggle, but surprisingly I am enjoying it now. Alhamdulillah I finally see the rainbow behind the clouds.

I can not be bored staying at home, because I always have something to do at home. First, I have two sons. They wouldn't let me job-less at home. They do learn to eat, change clothes, and tidy up by themselves, but we can't expect butler's work from 4 and 5 year old. Second, I also determine to feed my family with home cooking. I'm not a best cook ever, but part of me being home is preparing home cook for my little family. Store-bought food probably could cut my time in the kitchen, but...No. Last, we don't have maid as most of people have back in Jakarta. We also don't have any relatives here. So, no help what so ever. Washing, cleaning, tidying, bla bla bla, it's my job. Those three reasons only can keep me busy at home.

You might find me sitting by the TV or laptop, but it's not because I don't have anything to do. It was just because I delay to do something to get rest or taking my "me time". Well, hey, I'm human. If I don't take a break sometimes, I can't do anything else.

Between my 'have to' activities, my head keep think of something else. I think of making curtain or cushions' cases. I also planning on next week menus. I think about how to decorate our home. I think about taking care of my garden and add more plants. I think about teaching my youngest to ride bike. I think about how to give my kids more knowledge about Islam at home (you know, because it's not enough just sending your kids to a TPQ(religious school), we have to give them something too at home). Helping my son with homework and learning to read. Thinking about teaching them good habit. I think about drawing or writing, as my hobby. Thinking about trying new recipes. I have to sort these thoughts and plans into priorities. Usually the hobby lost the battle of priorities, but it's alright. But this time I delay my tidying chore just to type this post. Don't worry, I'm typing while my washing machine is working. I'll stop when it's time to hang the clothes to dry :)

Anyway.. I don't know how other stay at home moms could have nothing to do at home. Maybe they are professional moms? You know, because I'm just an amateur stay at home mom, so maybe I'm not managing my tasks efficiently? Maybe. But I don't feel so buys any more. I use to feel very panic and overwhelmed by tasks. It was like I was drowned in lots and lots of tasks. However, even though the tasks are still as much as they were, I feel I can manage it better now. I'm not so busy, but I always have something to do.

Maybe there will be time when all my boys busy with school, and friends, and sports or music, or other activities. Maybe there will time when my sons will only have a little time for me and not needed me so much. Well until that time, I embrace all these, and make my family as my first priority.

So hang out with friends is something I don't do much. I meet a very few friends sometimes. I only have a few friends here, which is alright. Few friends are big blessing if they make us feel good.

Anyway, I just hang my clothes outside to dry, cleaned up living room, and it's time to pick up my youngest son, and...I already forgot what else I want to say in this post, so I better sign off now.

The point is, being a stay at home mom is not boring. You can always find a thing to do at home. Being creative and care.

Salaam :)

Minggu, Juni 24, 2012

A little mommy's references

I'm just thinking..
Well, the first reason why I made this blog was to keep and to share my experience in becoming mommy. But, the fact is, I haven't really post much about it.

Then take this post as a little compilation of what I did or what I got after a lot of learning about finding what's best for the baby and mommy. If you are a new mommy, or going to have another baby, it's never to late to learn and think, which ways that suitable for the baby. There are a lot of myths, opinions and influences(!) out there that might confuse you so much. However, even though I would never thought that I were perfect, I went through most of these following points(I failed some of the points too. Hey, I'm just human!), and it suited me and my babies well. You read, you experience it, and you can tell whether these would help you. First of all, sorry for my not-good-English, but I will try to be clear here ;)

In random order:

- When you're pregnant, avoid coffee, smoke and cigarette's smoke, MSG, all the bad things that your body(and baby) can absorb it (so alcohol and marijuana is forbid to, for God sake!)

- Eat healthy-er. If you can not eat totally healthy, just eat healthier than you usually do. For example, just do the point above. That's the minimum.

- Vitamins and pregnancy milk are not always necessary, especially when you can increase the healthy food consumption for yourself. Good point eh? Because sometimes when we pregnant vitamins and boxed milk just tastes more yucky than usually is :p

- Find good gynaecologist and hospital/clinic. I heard in Indonesia, there are some naughty docs and hospital that often advice their patient to go caesarean even though the patient is healthy enough to labour naturally. I think they're just want to make more money. Greedy...oh, greedy...

- Breastfeed your baby since they first born until 2 years old.

- When your baby is born, your milk will might seems not getting out so much or at all. Don't worry. It will come out if you persistent. The nurse might advice you to give the baby a manufactured milk. But reject it, if you can. As I remember from my readings, the baby will still be ok even if he/she doesn't got any milk in about 24 hours or so. Please find the more accurate info about this, because I really had forgot.

- 'Persistent' is the key word of breastfeeding! Anyone will suggest you to give manufactured milk to your baby, by saying your milk is not enough etc. But if you PERSISTENT, you will produce a river of milk by yourself, honeymommies! :)

- After your baby is born, you still should eat and live healthier. For the sake of your baby, won't you do it?

- Follow your heart. You will be surround by myths. Your heart can actually tell which myths are strange enough to be true. So, learn, learn, learn and always try to find the truth. Don't just swallow everything that comes to you.

- There are lots of pro and cons about immunisations. Learn more and find what makes sense to you and your baby. Every child has different condition.

- ASI exclusive. Exclusive breastfeed is when the first 6 months of baby's life, they only consume breast milk and nothing else. NO-THING ELSE. Just fight for it. Fight! Even if your own parents might try to give the baby some food, just fight for it. Say NO ( I feel like I could say FIGHT with a spear in one hand, and baby on the other!)

- After 6 months old, baby can LEARN to eat. AND, baby doesn't eat rice and beef rendang and sayur bayam right away (so Indonesian menu). I believe baby should learn eat the food one by one and one step at the time. Please read thoroughly this post until finish, I will tell you where you can learn the details.

- Children don't always need vitamins and antibiotics. Be a wise patient. Many of Indonesian doctor loooooove giving you unnecessary vitamins and drugs, as if they're selling it. (Could you believe that a paediatrician tried to give my 2 year old son Sangobion?? I just threw away the prescription)

- Baby shouldn't consume salt and sugar until one year old. They will get these from food.

- Best food is natural food. Cook from the scratch. I avoid manufactured baby food, we don't really know what they put in that manufactured food, they probably has preservatives too.

- If baby got enough breast milk and have enough nutrition from natural food, bottled vitamins are not necessary.

- Internet is your friend and books. The following mailing list and websites helped me a lot through the baby and toddler moments:
* Asiforbaby (http://aimi-asi.org/) join the mailing list. This 'mommy club' is realllllly reallllly helpful. You can ask anything about your baby here, and lots of mom will share. Join them now!
* La Leache League International (http://www.llli.org), many information about breast feeding.
* Wholesomebabyfood (www.wholesomebabyfood.com), many information of how to feed the baby with food for the first time after 6 months old. Very, very useful.
* GiziBayiBalita (http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/Gizi_BayiBalita/) a mailing list organized by Wied Harry, an Indonesian nutritionist, author and TV presenter. He gave much infos about healthy food for babies and toddler. He will answer your question and the moms will share too.
With these four site/mailing list alone, you will get good support.

- Nobody's perfect. You might try, you might succeed, you might failed. However, don't give up everything.

- Things could be stressful. Talk to your husband, talk to anyone you trust about your stress. Listener might help you released the stress. You can talk to me as well. I could be a listener :)

- Get rest whenever you can, even a minute for tea time.

- Breastfeeding has lots of advantages. Learn this and you won't dare to let it go.

- Again: Learn and Persistent.

Briefly, above points will support you. You can find more info anywhere.
At the end, it's just a sharing. I'm not doctor, nutritionist, nor any expert. I'm just a mom who just want to share.

Minggu, April 22, 2012

Bunga di Jendela

Kenapa sekarang ada bunga-bunga di jendela dapurku? Sebagian darinya bahkan sudah mengering.

Oh itu bunga rumput yang dipetik Abang dan Dede untukku setiap mereka habis main di halaman. Mereka mengetuk pintu dapurku dan memanggil, "Bunda, bunda! Ini dikasi bunga!"
"Dari siapa?", tanyaku pura-pura.
"Abang" "Dede"

So sweet, eh?

Begitulah kalau punya anak laki-laki. Kalau kita beruntung diberikan Allah anak-anak laki yang baik, kita akan dapat bunga, pelukan, ciuman dari mereka. Ayahnya bisa saja sibuk, tidak bisa setiap saat mencium dan memeluk kita. Wajarlah, sebagai pencari nafkah keluarga. Bunga pun mungkin datang hanya di saat-saat spesial saja sekarang, itupun kalau dia terbetik rasa romantismenya.
Tapi anak-anak laki-laki ini tidak mengenal hari spesial, dan masih punya banyak waktu untuk mencium dan memeluk kapanpun mereka (atau aku) mau.
Aku tidak tahu kapan mereka akan terus melakukan ini. Aku cuma berharap, kalaupun suatu hari mereke berhenti melakukannya, kuharap itu masih lama sekali.
Sekarang syukuri dulu apa yang ada. Alhamdulillahi rabbil al amiiiin.

Minggu, April 15, 2012

Dear Parents, please READ this book: Totto-chan, Little Girl at the Window

First time I read this book was in 2003. I was single, and not really think about children just yet. I HIGHLY recommend this book to all parents. This book is enjoyable not only for parents, but also for the kids. As I enjoyed it when I was a single, I encourage you, Singles, to read it too.

This book is autobiographical memoir of a Tetsuko Kuroyanagi, a very unique little girl whose parents accept her UNIQUENESS, and never give up finding the 'perfect' school for her. The book is funny, unique and very inspiring. You will remember how you feel and think when you were a kid. I envy Totto-chan for having so great time at Tomoe Gaku-en, the school.

Parents, especially in Indonesia, please read this book, and don't give up your kids over some STRANGE education in our country. The schools are exist to cater our kids' needs, not the opposite. When a school requests RIDICULOUS requirements even before your kids enroll, we better question it.
We love our kids, don't we? Then, we should be pleasing our kids, not the school. School is service, not business(quoted from my hubby).

See this page about Totto-chan: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Totto-chan/109247369105512

p.s: If you haven't read this book, you can check the Indonesian version of the book: Totto-chan, Gadis Cilik di Jendela by Tetsuko Kuroyanagi in the book stores
p.s too: I'm not a book seller. So I'm not promoting this book over money, but for the kids ;)

Kamis, Februari 09, 2012

D.I.Y Haircut!

This is the second time I do my own haircut. Yep! I cut my hair. By myself. Yep.
No worries, because if I messed my hairstyle, I have headscarf to cover it, of course.
The first time I cut my own hair was because I felt too busy to go to beauty saloon. So I just tied my hair and snip-snip, cut.
It is simple, and free, hehehehe! And if you fail, just cover it up :p
Here's what I did. Get these tools: sharp scissors or haircut scissors (I bought one at the Japanese 'barang-barang ngga penting'--> borrowing my brother's term for unnecessary stuffs), two rubber bands and comb.
First, do this in the bathroom. Tied your hair and make pony tail on the top of your head(or wherever you like. Nobody will see it anyway). Use 2 rubber band to tie it up. First rubber band tied close to your skin head. The second one tied few centimetres from the first band. The second one is actually to keep the hair that will be throw from being too messy on hands.
Wet your hair, especially on the part that you will cut. Get scissor and cut your hair between the two bands. Then, you will have a bundle of hair, tied, not messy and fall over the floor.
So what will you do with the bundle? Well, I just dug the ground in the garden with my hand and put the bundle in the hole and piled it with ground. The rest of the hair in the bathroom simply just flush it down with running water or pick it up and flush in the toilet.
Hehehe... simple, eh?
Oh one trick from my Mom, if you want to have hair bang, just get a piece of cello-tape and put it on your hair where you want to have the bang. Then, cut the hair by the direction of the side of the cello-tape. That way you'll get a straight hair bang. She did this to me when I was a child.
I remember that getting my hair cut by a hairstylist was a joyful activity on the old days. I had a very trusted hairstylist. I trust him to cut my hair anyway he likes. Always turned out great. I don't have to ask anything. He's just know my hair so much.
Anyway, just wait for my husband to go home, and see what will he say about my hair now. Yeeeess..husband is the only one you have to worry about if you mess your hairstyle eh eh eh..

Rabu, Januari 25, 2012

My absence and the City of Seagulls

Wow, it’s been soooo long time after my last posting!
I guess for the last 8 months, maybe, blogging was not my first priority in what to do list.
Maybe I should make one posting of why didn’t I blog. However, the reason is about my mother, and it will make me sad if I have to remember it again by telling the detail of the story.
What happened was, my mom got hospitalize last April, 2011. She got stroke and we ran her to hospital. The doctor decided to make a surgery. Unfortunately, after the surgery my mom was never awake again. She stayed in ICU room for 22 days, and passed away on May 17, 2011. I probably not need to mention that, my family and I was shocked and sad. Well, actually we went through many ups and downs feeling through the days when she was still in hospital. First we shocked, and then we learnt to accept that Mamah was ill. After that we decided to build spirit and hope in ourselves that she will be awake again. Then, we finally had to accept that Mamah was probably better with Allah than with us. That morning the doctor called us urged my dad and I to run to hospital just to release her go. Innalillahi wa inna ilaihi rajiuun.
Tears. The whole month. And after.
Days after that were not so easier also. My husband and I had planned to move to New Zealand for about two years before. So we had to leave Papah there. My mind was storming to find a way so that my dad would not be so alone after we leave. It became a huge problem then. Anyway, it’s another long story and it just make me sad and sad. Maybe some time later I will tell.
After my mom passed away, we moved to smaller house. My parents were actually longed to sell their big house to buy a smaller house. As my eldest brother and his family got their own house, and my second brother moved to Singapore, I was the only child they had who still lived with them, with my husband and kids too.
When the house was finally sold, my mom got hospitalized. So she never knows how it’s like to be in her new house.
Sad. Again.
Our moving to a new house was not so easy for me. I had to pack up the things and stuffs from that old big house. That house was once the home for 8 persons. So the stuffs that they had left were pretty MUCH. It is not easy also, to deal with my mom stuffs. Everything was reminds me of her.
If I count it, my family and I have been moving at least three times in a year! From my Mamah’s old big house to my Papah’s small house. Then moved from Papah’s house to apartment in Central Auckland. Again moved from apartment to unit house where we staying now.
Anyway, enough with pre-moving to NZ thing. We departed from Soekarno-Hatta released by family. You know, I was worried a little knowing we will travel 13 hours by plane with 2 very active toddlers. Alhamdulillah, they can sit well and not trying to escape anywhere else. Maybe because they love vehicles, so experiencing to be in an airplane was fantastic for them. Abang said, “Bunda, pesawat bagus ya. Dalemnya juga bagus. Abang seneng”(Bunda, airplane is great. It’s inside is great too. I like it)

The fact of meal time was kind of absurd, the stewardesses was delivering meals on 4 o’clock in the morning of Indonesian time (I still don’t know what meal was that in NZ time), made us feel like preparing fasting on Ramadhan! Of course, the boys couldn’t wake up and stay asleep until REAL Indonesian breakfast time.
We arrived in Auckland International Airport in the beautiful noon. The water sight on our left was glowing as the airplane was landing. Boys were up and excited. After that we hailed taxi and checked up in serviced apartment the company had rented for us.
The sun was warm, but the wind was cold. They call it summer. I call it cold. Known as city of sails, I call this city of seagulls, because we can find seagulls everywhere in this city. They fly and making squeaking, giggling voice, hang out on the streets’ lamps, on the parks, everywhere.

Anyway, Auckland, here we come.

Rabu, Maret 30, 2011

the absence

It;s been a long time since my last post. I guessed I was focused much in my kitchen blog.
Actually my head can't really stop from thinking of some topics to write. But, writing, oops, I mean typing a topic need extra time. I sell some stuffs online now. You know, to back up my shopping hobby-wannabe ;)
So between the kitchen blog, and the toddler and the online shops and other real life episodes, well, I neglected this blog. Boohoo, girl! I know.
I want to come back soon.
I will.
Don't worry :)